The Life of an Innocent Son
The author of this story has created the collage seen above. (Click to see the full-sized image.)
When I was a little boy, I was very cute and little. When I was five, everybody would always give me everything. My mom would give me everything. When I turned ten, I started seeing my dad. But it was my mom who raised me for 15 years.
My dad was on drugs. He was very poor and he would sleep on a park bench. My mom took him in because she is a very nice person. Then, my dad got off of drugs and he started to act very strange towards me. He acted very mean, obnoxious, and I want to say the word but I can’t. It makes me feel very sad because I would really like to get to know my dad. He really has an attitude towards me. When he gets mad he takes it out on me. When he gets mad at his girlfriend, he takes it out on me. He tells me I can’t read like when we were in a restaurant, it was me, my dad, and his girlfriend. He told me to read something off the menu so I could know what I want. Then he told me you probably can’t read 90% of the words on the menu. He told me that. I couldn’t believe it. I felt very sad and I felt heartbroken. I felt that he stepped all over me.
When he told me that, I said why would you say something to your son who has good grades and who is on the honor roll and I want to go to college to be a somebody in life. He tells me that I am going to be like my big brother: dumb, stupid and smoke all of the time. And when he tells me these things, I look at myself as when I grow up, he is going to need me one day and I’m not going to turn my back because that is my father and I love him but he really needs to change his act because I want to have a good father in my life and a father who is going to care for his child. As his son, I feel like he is a stranger to me. I feel like he is one of my enemies and when I look into his eyes, I want that one day he would say that I’m a very successful young man and I am proud of you because you graduated from college, you have a good job and became somebody when you became a singer.
My big brother James is a smart boy but he really needs help. I look at my brother and see that he needs his father really bad. But my father turns his back on him and to me. I think that my father should be there for him because in order for James to go to school and get a job, my father has to be supportive and a good father so that his son can be something in life. My father sometimes acts cool, but most of the time he is very, very mean. Like, if I do something, something bad, he will yell at me and I’ll get very nervous. My dad should be a good father because every time I come to see him, he always calls me dirty, like when I’m in a car, sometimes, I feel like crying, but I just hold it in like a man and just forget what he says because I know that one day he will need me so bad. In my mind, and my dreams, I believe that my dad will break out of his shell and be a successful father. But now, he needs to stop worrying about his twin nephews and worry about his son.
When I was little, I couldn’t read that well. So my dad asked me to read a sign on the street. I couldn’t read it, so he hit me. Then I started to cry. But really, I was mad because he told me that his twin nephews could read better than me and they would be something in life and I would be a poor person on the street. I told my mom and my mom got very mad. When I told my mom, I started to cry because I didn’t deserve to get treated that way because I was just a little child. I was ten years old. I am fifteen now. He still acts that way, but I don’t really care because in my mind, I believe I will be somebody. And my mom always believes in me. It is my dad who will just remain the same.
I really want to write about my dad because to everyone else he’s a very nice person, but to me, he is a bad person. Towards other people, he is a very down to earth person. When it is just me and him, he’s a very, very mean person. I want to let my dad know that I’m tired of his nonsense and when I become grown, I will talk to my dad face to face and tell him why didn’t you become a good father figure to me. You became a good uncle figure to your nephews, but not to your own flesh and blood, your child and your only baby son?
I really will like to tell him that my mom became a father and a mother to me because she’s a very independent woman. She’s way more a father figure to me than my dad and one day he will regret whatever he did to me, but I still love him. I just hate his mean ways.
So, I think that’s it, this one thing he told me. One day, he told me was I gay. I couldn’t believe he said that because I always hang out with my girl cousin named Ashley. She’s a very nice, intelligent, pretty girl. The reason why my dad called me gay is because he heard people say that I need to hang out with boys instead of girls. But I didn’t care what he said about me because I am going to still hang out with my cousin because we are very close and we have a close relationship.
In my dad’s family, I don’t know anybody in my dad’s family. When my dad’s mother was living, he would tell her that my house all dirty. He would tell her that my mom’s on drugs. He would tell her that my mom treated us like bums, but she didn’t. My mom is a very caring person because she always takes people in and helps them when they are needy. And, to me why would my dad say such things because my mom took him in when he was on drugs, when he was poor and he had nowhere else to go because his mom put him out.
One day, he will realize that he is missing a son that loves him and cares for him but he doesn’t see that. He sees that I am a low life person and a bum. In my family, the family thinks he is a nice person because I don’t tell my family how he treats me. I only tell my mom and my aunt because the reason I tell my aunt and my mom is because I don’t want my family to tell my father what I said because if he would have heard it, he would have hit me or whoop me. Like, if I come over his house, so I just tell my mom. My mom would call him and tell him that if you keep treating your son this way, you will not see him anymore.
In the past two years, I haven’t talked to my dad or haven’t seen him and then suddenly he pops up. He had a nice attitude. He was a down to earth person, but after a few months, he started acting the same way. So, I started thinking should I see him. I realized I should see my dad because if you disobey your parents, your days will get shorter and shorter because God says that. And, to me, I think if you disrespect your son, you should be treated the same way.
But he’s my father and I can’t treat him this way because without him, I wouldn’t be in this world. So I thank him for putting me in this world but really I think that he wishes that I hadn’t been put in this world. I think that because the way he treats me and the way he acts towards me, that is why I feel he shouldn’t have put me in this world because he thinks that I’m dumb and stupid. He shouldn’t be that way towards his son because in life, God says you should treat others with respect and you should help people with their ups and downs.
And God said a man should always be in their child’s life, to help them, to be there for them, to tell them that they are going to be something in their life and always hold their head up when they are going through things in life. But my dad disobey God. He doesn’t do those things. He do the opposite. And that’s not right. I do what God says and I believe in God. My dad goes to church, but I think that he’s a hypocrite. If you so call going to church, why would you treat your son horrible like he’s a piece of trash. I would say to my dad that God does not like ugly and you are a very ugly, mean person towards your son.
When I get older, I want to be a singer and a dancer. The reason why I want to be a singer and a dancer is because I have talent. God has given me a gift and I want to take care of my family. I want to take care of my mom, my grandparents, and my cousins. My dad wants me to take a trade, but really I want to become a singer. The reason why I think and know I’m going to become a singer is because my dad use to always bring me down, but I am going to prove to him that I am going to be somebody and I am going to take care of my family and just enjoy life. I would love to take care of my dad but I think that when I get older, my dad won’t be in my life anymore. I am saying this because the way he treats me and the way he talks to me and looks at me makes me think that he would not be in my life when I’m grown.
My mom will be so proud of me if I make it in the industry because when I make it, I’m going to make lots of hits, lots of dance moves and every time I win a Grammy, I’ll always thank my mom and my tutor Kristin who believes in me. And to my dad, I would say thank you dad for putting me in this world because I like my life and you put me in this world so I thank you because you are my father and you are my heart. To my mom, you took care of me since I was born and I really, really thank you for being that mom.
When I become a singer, I will always talk about how my mom treated me like an angel and what she accomplished to help me be how I am now. This is what I want to do. I want to be a singer because I want everybody to know that I have talent. I will be a celebrity, and when I become one, I will give money for the poor, like my mom. I will help little kids who have disabilities and I will donate money for breast cancer because a lot of women have breast cancer.
I want to get my education before I become a singer because education comes first and without an education, you have nothing. I really want to go to college because I’m a very smart person. I really have a lot of courage and I think that I’m that person who will go to college and be a successful young man. I have potential and confidence. I want to be like Usher and Denzel Washington, because I want to act, too.
